IMG_9319.jpgThe Waiting period in life is the most frustrating.  People say it is the period when one as a  human will learn more, and gets closer to its higher self.  Although I know this is true because of past experiences, I also know this is not the funnest part of life.  It is many times painful, and feeling of loneliness can be unbearable.  Depression visits too often, and tears flow to frequently, especially at night when no one is listening. Every morning is a struggle to survive, to enjoy the sunlight shining through your window.  All you have to hold on to are the quotes that keep appearing on your newsfeed, “Love yourself in order to be happy.”  So now you feel like you don’t love yourself, because you don’t feel happy in the waiting period of life.  Then you remember that you have been the only one there for you, and you have been the only one that has gotten yourself out of your misery with self care and love.  So you now took time to convince yourself that you indeed do love yourself, you are just stuck in the waiting period, and that is never fun.

I am currently in the waiting period.  I was part of something that I thought was going to last a lifetime, then it ended and now I find myself not knowing where I am going.  What am I suppose to be doing?  I have days when I have so much courage to go back out into the world, and when I do I am faced with confusion.  Nothing appeals to me.  It is all superficial.  Capitalism is so ugly, and it keeps humans from pursuing their life’s purpose.  We are kept from our magic, and our true powers.  So I find myself sitting still and trying to listen to my guide to my question, “What is my life purpose?”  I don’t want to jump into something again that is not my life purpose.  I’ve been waiting for over a year, and in that time I have gotten closer to my daughters.  I’ve learned so much about my strength.  The painful part of this is seeing people move at a hundred miles an hour, and you feel like you are going five miles an hour.  Everyone looks content with their lives, and I am here still figuring out what am I going to do for the rest of my life.

It’s all good though.  I know I will be alright, and I will come out stronger from this.  It sound so cliche’ but I’ve been here before, and the universe has rewarded me for letting things flow in the past, and working through the pain of the waiting period in life.

via Daily Prompt: Waiting